Smug owl outside thinks she is better than me. She has a face like an Ibo mask, and she keeps shifting her shoulders like Toshiro Mifune in Yojimbo. She is mocking me by hopping along faster than I can walk. She knows I wouldn’t last a day where it came from.
She just stood in front of a car (an owl playing chicken?) until it was less than a foot away from her, before she rocketed onto a tree branch and stared at me dismissively. I will never be half as tuff as that owl, and I have accepted that tonight.
the whole concept of flirting is just lost on me most of the time really. whenever someone is like “oh they were flirting with you” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “were you flirting with them?” i’m just like. what. whenever someone is like “oh you totally were flirting with them!” i’m just like. what. what is flirting. what is going on. what. i have no idea what’s going on. what